Category: fear

RANDOM…

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I have been gone so long I don’t know where to begin.

They say a journey starts with the first step… so I imagine that getting back into communicating with all of my fellow bloggers and readers must begin  with the first word/post:

the word?

 

random

From the Oxford dictionary:

If you live in the USA, well, you may well understand depression.  Mine has brought me to a standstill.  I went to see a very “deer” friend in April, more on that later, and that began my journey out of *stasis.  When I returned I had surgery on my right hand.  It didn’t quite go as planned and that too has slowed me down. Slowly, slowly I have been trying to get back to my old self.  My friend helped, but I have been fighting fear and depression.  This past month I rediscovered my joy and motivation… my momentum is sparked by music!

Today’s spark is: Joe Bonamassa:  An Acoustic Evening at The Vienna Opera

In his early teens this man played on stage with BB King!  Want to know more about the artist?   Click HERE

 

BE ADVISED:  ANY POLITICAL CANDIDATE BASHING, OF EITHER PERSUASION WILL NOT BE ALLOWED THE LIGHT OF DAY HERE.  lET’S KEEP IT FRIENDLY, PLEASE.

❤

*(noun. inactivity resulting from a static balance between opposing forces. inaction, inactiveness, inactivity. the state of being inactive.)

 

 

Things that can go wrong when cycling

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I recently had my bike refurbished and was having a blast doing short rides in another nearby neighborhood.  From my house to the other development had me going up our street, over on a mildly busy country road, and then into the loop. Once around and then back home was exactly a mile.  How handy, right?

I had worked up to two miles and then one day, when trying to get off, my foot got caught on the bar. It was weird to be suspended there and unable lift my leg that one more half inch to free my foot. I used to be able to push off, swing my right leg back over the rear wheel, settle on the seat, then place my foot down on the pedal.  The reverse of this enabled me to hop off.  Smoothly, gracefully, and safely. Nope, can’t do that move anymore.

As I said, I got stuck.  My new chain had stretched just a bit and fell off so I needed to dismount to fix it.  And there was me, balanced with one foot sticking straight out in front of me and the other on the asphalt.  I kept feeling like I was going to fall backward.  Seconds stretch out when you are facing a possible serious injury.  I focused all my will to stay upright telling myself several times, “You will NOT fall down!” I was really thinking it was going to happen…

Then I looked down and the weight of my head tipped the balance in my favor!  I did a couple of hops back away from the bike and then had room to pull my foot the rest of the way off and down to the ground.

The takeaways from this incident are:

  1. I need to continue riding to help me with my balance.
  2. Although I can ride, I will need a step-through frame (aka: a girl’s bike).
  3. Riding will continue to rebuild the muscles in my legs after the knee surgery and it is not so boring!
  4. Riding alone is maybe not so smart.  I need a friend to ride with.  Just in case.
  5. I need to think about going to one of the walking/biking trails, after all, we have so many! Then, I won’t  have to worry about giant tractors on the country roads and/or the pick up trucks that look like they guzzle steroids instead of gasoline. <—- click here

I will be riding again soon, but need to sell a few things to afford the new girly bike.  Which leads into my next post on Swedish Death Cleaning…

Coming soon!

I’m OK, but…

33 Comments

A bit shell shocked.

I have been having a bit of memory problems for the past year or two.  It was worrying me.  The most obvious clue was not being able to remember the names for rosemary and tarragon. 

In the case of rosemary, I could see the plant in my head, but when I tried to find it’s name it was like there was an empty bubble in that spot.  Now with tarragon I could remember it’s nickname, The Dragon, but not the herbal name.

Then I went out to make a video of my garden flowers out front and suddenly couldn’t remember the names of many of them either!  So, now I am really freaking out!  These plants are perennials and biennials that I grew from seed and suddenly I can’t think of their names.

I didn’t post the video because I was embarrassed about my lapses.  I will post it at the end.

Bringing this story to a rapid close I will share with you that after a visit to the neurologist and a  massive amount of testing,  I have apparently has several small strokes in the past, which he claims are normal for my age.  He says it isn’t Alzheimer’s, but still prescribed medication for memory.  I need to do a lot more research on this, because before being prescribed the medication, and with a concerted effort, I was able to make a new pathway to the name for rosemary!  If I can do that without the memory med, then shouldn’t I be able to make new memory paths for the other lost names?

OK, so here is the embarrassing video.

One last thing, finding all this out and being able to retrain my brain has really lifted my depression.  Not being terminally depressed has made me a maniac in the garden this spring, and having Bob home full-time to help me (yes, he is finally retired) means that I, make that WE have really gotten a lot done in preparation for spring and summer this year.  Color me very happy!

❤ ❤ ❤

 

Video tour of Garden changes coming soon

 

 

Things that explode in the night

28 Comments

I always read myself to sleep on the couch each night and then when I wake up at what ever ridiculous time in the AM I go to bed.  It has become a annoying routine, but one that assures I will sleep when my head does hit the pillow.  Unless of course I am sick in which case sleep does not normally allude me.

Monday night’s routine was going according to habit and plan and I had just dozed off when there was a horrendous explosion right outside in front of our house…  Now don’t think bad of me or hold it against me, but after being so thoroughly jarred from slumber at 12:45 AM I jumped up and was heard to shout, to nobody in particular:  “What…the…he…!!!” (twice actually).  The house had now been plunged into total darkness and silence.

so much for sliding into slumber.

I stood in the dark trembling and then began fumbling for my little flashlight that takes me from couch to bed without burning out my retinas or waking Bob from his slumber, and then went out to the front porch to see what had made the explosive sound.  Silly to tell you this, but that feeble little light only showed me business as usual; grass, shrubberies, fence-line, cars in the drive… Oh, and that the rest of the houses on our street were in darkness too.  Hm, I thought,  the transformer is on a pole at the roadside just in front of our orchard/gardens…

“Yeah, that’s it.” I told myself

So, I came in, locked the door, and found Bob fully awake and standing up in the dark by the bedside.  Groggily he asked, “What happened?” Then said, “My CPAP quit.”  I told him I thought it was the transformer, and we put ourselves to bed.  Well, about 4:00AM we woke up to big truck sounds and chainsaws right outside our bedroom window! The light from said trucks was very bright and leaking in around the blackout shades!

WHAT NOW?

We got up again, went to the front room window and then out onto the porch to find this…

click for a larger view

The work to clear away the tree, restore power to the house on the other side of said tree, and to reconnect telephone and electricity to all the homes from our house down took all day.  Strangely, our power came online very quickly, but new lines to all the neighbor’s houses and power were not restored until about 9:00PM last night.

All things considered, even with missed work and no electricity, this was the best possible outcome: Right into the street and not onto their home and vehicles.

😎