So yesterday my doorbell is ringing crazily, I get up and go to the door, open it, and…  Nothing.  No one is there, the mail lady’s truck is sitting at my post box and she is nowhere to be seen.

Weird.

I see that Helena my newest gosling girl is out and I run out for the tenth time to put her back inside her (electric) fence.  (How does she do it?)

Suddenly the mail lady comes dashing around the corner and I make out something like…

DOG!  CHICKENS!!!

I run to follow her as she goes back around the corner.  And there he is.  Twenty-five pounds of chicken terror on the paw and he has killed one of my chickens.   I have been chasing that little dog out of my yard for weeks now and finally told the owner:

“Keep the dog in your back yard or I will call animal control!” 

So after yesterday’s episode I called animal control.  Later, when I thought the parents would be in I go to tell them what happened…

Lowlights of the conversation:

“This dog???  He’s been inside all day!” (NOT!)  “That’s it this dog is dead!”  (I don’t want you to kill your dog I simply want you to keep it in your yard!)  “So the mail lady comes at 1:30, so why did you wait till now to come complaining?” (You were at work, I didn’t want the dog to get my baby goose too!)  The lady marches to the back of the property and I hear “MARWAR!”  (name withheld to protect the minor) “GIT OVER HERE NOW!!!   The rest was unintelligible except for the part about killing the dog again.

At this point I loudly interjected:  “I DON’T WANT YOU TO KILL YOUR DOG, JUST KEEP IT IN YOUR YARD!

We had this trouble (same neighbor) about a year ago when the two big dogs they owned then, got out and killed almost all of my chickens.  Their solution?  Send them to the pound. (You can read about that incident HERE)

Suddenly the lady is raging at me and calling me a liar, telling me her sons told her I had threatened to shoot them and their dog if they came onto my property again…

WHAT’S THIS?

Sorry lady but I don’t own a gun and I would never threaten anyone with being shot.  I tried to reason with her (it didn’t work) and finally told her that her child had lied to her and left.

Meanwhile… the neighbors got an earful.  I look over and there they are, standing there, just staring and cringing.

Why did I bother?

HINDSIGHT:  When dealing with a lady who goes from a conversational voice to shouting in less than  .00139 seconds, just shut up and leave.  There is no reasoning with an irrational woman and in a moment you will end up sounding just like her.  Honestly, just SHUT UP and walk away.  It’s better in the long run.

Next time I’ll come prepared.