calamity – Life on the Farmlet

Having prepared the night before I had my stuff ready, and my day mapped. I love it when I am that together and ready to achieve wonderful things. The plan? Going to the Mountain Farmlet to demo the rotten shower while I wait for the roofer to meet me there. Also on the plan is a leisurely stroll through the woods and along the stream with the dogs. I couldn’t wait!

Showered, dressed, breakfast eaten, lunch packed, tools, dogs and dog water loaded into the car, and I am finally down the road.

First stop, gas the car, empty the trash bag so Tucker won’t eat the wrappers, water the dogs, and take them for their first pee break. DONE! Now it’s my turn…

Returning to the car I see Tucker up to his shoulders in my big carryall and he has eaten most of my sandwich!

Bad dog, Tucker, very BAD DOG!

Still seething, I realize that he couldn’t get my Fritos, and I still had my water and an apple. Well, better than nothing I thought. (I can hear you saying: Well couldn’t you eat out? The short answer would be, No, not with my Celiac/Gluten intolerance issues. I don’t have time for being sick.)

Second road break, same as the first. Seems that Tucker was intent to find any leftovers he may have missed.

Third road break, I took the lunch bag and tossed it into the truck bed so he couldn’t get it. 😉

BTW, I must mention it was already in the 80s in the morning, I have discovered that if I take my door lock remote with me that I can leave the dogs in the car with the air on and they don’t overheat. YES, I know, but I figured with Buddy the big dog barking and frothing at the window it would be an excellent deterrent! Yes?

I am within 8 miles of the Mountain Farmlet and stop for my favorite Sugar Free beverage. Not seeing any in the case I ask for some from the back. The cashier yells at the other girl working there, “…any more are available in the back?” and she mumbles something and walks out the back door with some bait. I left without purchasing any more water for the dogs and just went up the mountain. I wasn’t going to patronize the store if they were going to ignore me, now was I?

Upon arriving I am stoked about setting to work. I am on time and the roofer is not there yet. A FIRST for me! I become aware of how really hot it is, and the lack of a breeze. Never mind, I think, as I unlock the door and turn on the air. Nothing. I flip a couple of switches. NOTHING! They never turned on the electricity! Oh well, I will water the dogs and just wait for the roofer.

PROBLEM! The Octogenarian told the water company to turn off the water on the 10th. I had called the water company and told them she made a mistake and, please don’t turn it off on the 10th, because the account had already been transferred to our name! “No problem.” the nice lady said.

It is the 11th and there is no water.

I’ve got hot dogs, and no water. (Where is that roofer?) A light bulb moment and I think, OK I will let them drink some of the cat water out back on the deck.

Buddy: “No way man, that’s not my water, and you can’t make me drink it! OK, I’m really thirsty so I will taste it. NOPE, NOT MY WATER!”

Tucker: “Nope, Buddy didn’t like it so I’m not drinking it either!”

Me: (panicking!) “Come on guys, it’s almost 90 degrees and we’re having air you can wear up here! You have to drink water, now DRINK WATER.”

Another light bulb moment. I go into the house thinking, “I’ll just fill their water bowl from the toilet tank. It’s fresh.” The bathrooms are totally dark. No windows, no light, no dice. But wait! I have a little flashlight in my purse, so grabbing it I go in to find that the Octogenarian, being the neat and clean person she is, has installed some sort of device that pumps cleaner into the water tank to keep your toilet bowl sparkly and nice. (You don’t care what I was saying or thinking at this point. Trust me.) I gave the dogs my water.

MAN, WHERE IS THAT ROOFER!

I try to call him and realize I left his number at home. I call the realtor, who knows him well BTW, and he gives me his number. Whew!

The Roofer: “Oh sorry, I had something come up and I told the office this morning to cancel all my appointments for today.”

Me: “Well, I was on the road early this morning and didn’t get the message.”

The Roofer: “OH.” I’m really sorry, but…”

ME: “I have been waiting for you since 11:00. It is very hot and humid, and the utility companies have not turned on my electric and water. I drove all the way here from Hazel Green to meet you. It is an 80 mile drive one way, and a lot of gas to return here tomorrow.” (I was polite, I promise, but I was not happy on the inside)

The Roofer: “I’ll have someone there in 45 minutes! I’m really sorry, mam!”

Me: “Thank you.”

The other roofer fellows call to tell me they were on their way, but that it would take an hour. I repeated my tale of woe, and suddenly an hour turned into 30 minutes, they arrived on time, too!

Estimate is done, the dogs and I took our leisurely and shady, woodsy walk. I am thinking, Hey, they can get into the stream to cool off and get a drink!

Along the way we stop to throw some fish food to the catfish in the pond. I open the lid and there inside on the edge of the chest is a shiny, black, Scorpion! We have Scorpions? I closed the lid, and with apologies to the fish, we left.

Down by the creek I am telling the dogs, “Drink water, drink water, HELLO? You are thirsty, DRINK WATER!” Both of them looked at me like I was out of my mind and flat-out REFUSED to even TOUCH that stream! Grrrr…

So back to the house, to lock up, and pack up, so we can all go to the nearest place to get water! I walk in and begin gathering my things, I am in a hurry to get going because, as you will recall, what little water I had, I have given to the dogs. I turn the corner in the dog trot (the center part of the house) to get to the living room and suddenly I am seeing stars and trying not to pass out. (Another moment that you do not want to know what I was thinking and saying. Suffice it to say that the dogs are cowering and being exceptionally good.)

Why was I seeing stars? Because having been outside I came inside and it was too dark, and in the dark I didn’t see the dang shelves the Octogenarian had placed in the doorway that she kept closed all the time. The lower of the two was exactly nose bridge height.

The sad part is, that I knew they were there, but in my hurry to get going I temporarily forgot. I tried to see what the damage was but again, too dark in the bathrooms and the littlest flashlight in the world wasn’t helping. All I could see was lots of blood! Hoping my nose is not badly cut or broken, I grab a dry paper towel and do my best to clean up so we can just get going.

By now I’m thinking I must look like something you’d find in the ditchbank at the side of the road. My hair is in wet strings around my neck, my light blue overalls are filthy and then I see them… TICKS! Hyperventilating, I begin picking them off and throwing them into the bushes. Yeah, I know but what else was I going to do with them? Then it hits me, If there are some on the outside of my clothes there must be more where I can’t see.

At our next rest stop, I go into the Ladies Room, and drop my overalls to find that my suspicions are confirmed. MORE TICKS! Thankfully, there were only three.

For the uninitiated, pulling ticks is downright horrifying. You never feel them biting (how do they do that?) and when you try to pull them out they are latched so tightly, that you skin pulls up with your efforts. This is very horrifying for yours truly.

The rest of our trip back home was uneventful, and I was relieved to find that on inspection at least the dogs flea and tick meds worked! Later, after a long shower, and drinking a half-gallon of water I was feeling much better too. My nose is not broken, and I did not require stitches, just a wee little band-aid and some antibacterial salve. My eyes were only very slightly blackened in the corners… but not enough to keep me from going in public. 😉

We, the dogs and I, went back yesterday, the utilities are on and the rotten shower is halfway removed! Bob and I will finish that tomorrow.