A Bit of Chicken Humor: or the truth about eggs

Chickens the world over have one thing in common.  They all lay eggs.  The process of  ‘puberty,’ if you will, begins at about age 4 to 6 months on average.  The event is always spectacular to hear.  She lays her egg in the nest and then begins a litany of clucking that could raise the dead and will begin the other hens to clucking as well.  Every day and every time.

All of them.

Nineteen of them.

Now you might begin to suspect this would be annoying to hear every day, but it isn’t.  Well, not to me anyway.  I hear the cackling begin and think it is all for fun to them.  Seriously.  Why just the other day I heard them all laughing at a something Tippy The Buff Polish was clucking…

Gaaaak! KAK, Kak, kak…!  and Cuck, cuk, cuc, and cackle-cackle currrrrr, etc.


Tippy the BP:

“Ahhh, ha-ha-ha!   Girls listen to this!

Today I snapped up five brown beetles,two juicy green worms, and a couple of spiders hiding out back.  Mmmmm… and for dessert I had this giant Palmetto bug!  (whispered) Then I found this…

Oh! Hey girls… Shhh!   SHHHHHH!   Here comes  the Lady of the Farmlet with her basket to steal my hard work!”

All the Girls:

*“Caaaaak, Cac-Cac-cac-cack!”

Well, I actually could be grossed out by all, but the truth of it is this:

If my chickens were not left out to pasture each day my eggs would be bland and boring!  This is because it is the grasses, weeds, seeds, and well, bugs that make the lovely orange color in the yolks.   You just won’t find it in store-bought eggs.  My girls are also wonderful, organic pest control and garden fertilizers as well.

Now eggs come in many sizes and colors.

( http://www.dreamthymefarm.com/farmproducts.html )

The first eggs are usually small, an inch in diameter or so measured through the middle, and as time goes by the hen matures and they get much larger.

However, sometimes the younger hen will produce this…

© Lynda Swink  and “Life on the Farmlet,” 2010

It is called a “Double Yolker” and it is produced by an immature hen.   When two yolks come into the egg chamber they are encapsulated into the shell as one.

Poor little hens!

Rest assured, this is not a lifelong condition!   Thankfully, it is intermittent lasting only about a month at the beginning of laying.

So, while I may appreciate all my Girls do for me and love to eat their eggs, I am nevertheless glad I am not a chicken!

“:< >

*The sound a chicken makes when it’s laughing at you.

Thoughts on the price of eggs…

As you are aware I am back in the chicken egg business again.  To say that the business proposition does not make one wealthy is an understatement, but for the most part the sales pay for feed and scratch.

If I let myself start thinking on it, as I am now, I can get a bit perturbed.  Why you ask?  Well, it’s this way, if I sold my Farm Fresh, Pasture Raised Hen’s Eggs at the farmer’s markets over in Madison, I could get $3.50 a dozen for them.  If I lived in Connecticut,  like Red Bee Marina Marchese, I could get $5.00 a dozen!  As it is, I live here in N. Alabama in a tiny farming burgh and try to sell mine for $2.50 per dozen… but the potential customers scoff at the price.

Here is a recent example of what I am up against:

I finally spent the money to put up a sign on the main road to point potential customers to the Farmlet.  So after three days of not getting even a nibble… I got a customer!

The lady gets out of her car and carefully walks across the lawn.  She’s one of those heavyset ladies with the tightly curled and blue tinted hairdo that ladies of a certain age are all so fond of.  When she gets to the door and rings I open it and politely greet her.

She says, “How much foh yuh eggs?”

I say,  “$2.50 a dozen”

Upon hearing the price I see her eyebrows have shot up and she is now clenching the clasp of her handbag and holding it to her ample bosom.  After the momentary shock wears off she drawls, “That’s way moah the the stoah’s sellin’m foh!”

To which I politely explain that mine were after all laid yesterday,  my hens aren’t kept in inhumane conditions, if she tries them she will surely like them because they have far better flavor than what she will find at the grocery.  And finally, was she aware that the grocery store eggs can be well over a month old by the time she buys them?

She gives me a hesitant look, and I realize that I’m loosing her as a customer… so I quickly blurt, “If you bring me your carton back for me to refill it will give you .25 cents off of your next dozen!”

To which she replies “How much do ya’ll want for your eggs?”

I caved.  I told her, “For you $2.00 after the discount.”

At that, she pried open her handbag and peeled two dollars out of her wallet to hand to me.

I have not seen her again and its been two weeks.  Maybe she just doesn’t eat that many eggs?

Who can say?

In the meantime I have found an outlet for my surplus eggs!  I am selling them at the Farmers Co-op downtown!  So OK, I am still not getting rich, but at least I am selling all of my eggs now!   And that’s a happy thing!  “:<>

Here’s an update!

Yesterday the lady I told you about (above) came back to buy another dozen eggs.  This was nice!  But what made it spectacular was that she has reserved in advance three dozen for the 8th of August!

“Nah remembuh…” she reminds me, “… that’s three dozen on thuh 8th. of August.  I wanna send some home with mah friend who’s visiten from Nawth Caralina!”

I love this lady!

*  Click HERE to find out more information on the health benefits and differences of “Pastured” vs.  “Free Range” and “Factory Farm”  hen’s eggs.

News Flash: Chicken Lays Egg on the Farmlet

Recently science has discovered that the answer to that age old question,  “Which came first? The chicken or the egg?” is…

the Chicken!

Well, of course it did!  Just ask any hen and she’ll gladly set the record straight.  It is also a fact that chickens will announce that they’ve  laid an egg,   and of course for the egg to have gotten laid there had to be a chicken doing the laying.

Are you following this?

And so it was on the Farmlet today that in the midst of my housework I heard the heralding of GRAYSON (?) telling the world that my Ameraucana hen had laid an egg.  Not the hen, nor her friends in the hen house who would normally join in cackling about her accomplishment… no it was Grayson my roo letting the whole neighborhood in on the blessed event!  What’a Roo!

The Little Red Hen is incredulous that Grayson’s upstaged the show.

Meanwhile, all the girls gather round in excitement to watch and wait…

while Grayson paces the chicken run like a new father in the hall at the hospital.

Bertha looks into the nest and can’t believe her eyes…  “Oh my, it’s so BIG”  she clucks!

Then I look,  and there it is… Miss Ameraucana’s first egg!

I’m happy to know that all the girls will soon be laying… because that means that I will be solvent in my chicken endeavors again!