If they only had a brain

November 27, 2010December 16, 201018 Comments

The temperature dropped to 27 degrees just as the weatherman predicted it would. I had made all the necessary precautions…

Heat lamps for the chickens
Plugged in heating base for the water fount
Covered my little citrus trees and my precious succulents from California
Hung the winter drapes

I was ready, “Bring it!” I boasted…

But what neither the weatherman nor I could have predicted was the hungry owl that would come in the night and steal away with one of my Guinea hens. The chilling thing was that I heard the geese honking furiously last night at about 1:00 AM, and I should have known something was wrong! Though I doubt there was little I could have done about it. Owls, like hawks, gotta eat, and so it was that last night I lost another Guinea but to an owl this time.

The curious thing about Guineas is that they refuse to roost anywhere but up in a tree, which is fine if it is fully leaved. But, when fall and the wind have stripped it bare it just doesn’t make sense, but then guineas have no sense.

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Things Guineas are most likely to do:

If left by your fowl friends on the other side of the fence, then you run back and forth for hours crying till your little feet have run a track in the dirt. You could fly over the same way you got in, but this will never occur to you.
Run in terror from a little white fluffy Cockerel who is easily less than half your size.
Screech out “WEE-choo, WEE-choo, WEE-choo, WEE-choo, at the top of your annoying little voice… all day. Every day. Until the husband of the owner of the ugly, little, brainless, feathered fowl turns to you and says: “I HATE THOSE NASTY BIRDS!” Whereupon you remind him that he was tick free this summer and he acquiesces.
Come rain, wind, or freezing temperatures, you will roost in the trees to be eaten by a large bird.

So now I have a choice to make. Let them take their chances or put them in the freezer for dinners this winter. I can order more in spring for tick control and I know it will make the husband happy, if only temporarily, that I got rid of them. What would you do?

~ Epitaph For a Guinea ~

If I Only Had a Brain

(with apologies to the original author)

I could while away the hours, conferrin’ with the flowers
Consultin’ with the rain.
And the dirt I’d be scratchin’ while
my thoughts were busy hatchin’
If I only had a brain.
I’d unravel every riddle for obtaining any viddles,
In sunshine or in rain.
With the thoughts I’d be thinkin’
I could be another chicken
If I only had a brain.
Oh, I would go inside to sleep at night,
I wouldn’t have to fear of Owls in flight,
And then I’d live to see another day!
I would not be just a nothin’ my head all full of stuffin’
My heart all full of pain.
I would dance and be merry, life would be a ding-a-derry,
If I only had a brain.

Lyrics Kingdom（http://www.poplyrics.n et）

Photo credit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Guinea_Fowl.JPG

Of Thanksgiving Past: or death by turkey leg

November 25, 2010November 22, 201222 Comments

When I was young my cousin Bruce and I used to hang together at all the family get-togethers. We were inseparable as children. There were only four months difference in our ages and we got along (in)famously. Well, there was that incident with the Skippy dog food in Grandma Strong’s kitchen… and of course this epic tale:

I have said it before, my mother was not a good cook, but she tried her best and on Thanksgiving meals she poured her heart into the task. With a family of six, and relatives to feed, she would get up at 4:00 AM to begin roasting the big turkey to feed us all. The smell of it filled the house and all of us kids would be in and out of the kitchen wanting to know, “IS IT DONE YET?”

How do mother’s survive the commotion?

As well as the turkey there were candied yams, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, assorted vegetables, and fresh-baked dinner rolls to drown in butter.

Oooooh, and after it all there would be the pies!

Apple, pumpkin and mincemeat…

although I never understood the need for mincemeat.

Well, the big event was finally at hand! We all gathered around the table, said the blessing and dove in…

However, on this particular Thanksgiving Bruce and I were truly at odds. There were five kids at the table, and we all wanted a leg. My Dad said that we must “…share with the other kids at the table” and we proceeded to argue:

Bruce: “I’m the oldest and biggest kid and I can eat a whole leg by myself!”

Me: “That’s not fair! That’ll mean that I have to share with all three of them!”

This went on for a bit, until Dad said:

“Fine. You want a whole leg for yourself? Then you will have to eat the whole leg and anything else you put onto your plate.”

We looked across at each other, and sneering in victory proceeded to pile it on…

Plates cleaned of all the piled on goodies, we then picked up our treasure and ran for the door wanting to devour our ill-gotten booty without the little kids accusatory stares. Once outside we danced about on the porch leering with bulging eyes at each other. We could not believe our fortune!

One for him and one for MEEE!

These were the biggest turkey legs in history, we thought, and they were all ours! Then, tilting turkey legs, we began in earnest to gnaw on them. After only a few bites we began to realize our folly. We were already truly full!

It was at this moment we began to really consider the proviso my father had given us.

We must eat the whole thing or suffer the consequence for our greed.

Having barely made a dent in those legs we had already begun to slow down. Looking back at the kitchen window we could see my father giving us the look.

He had a way of drawing his mouth into a thin line, his eyes becoming beady with brows knit, and a little tick would start in his left cheek just below the eye… he was truly angry at us for our greediness.

We looked at each other. Moaning, Bruce pulled up his shirt to show me how full his belly was and whined that he couldn’t take another bite. At this, my dad opened the window and calmly said:

“You wanted it now eat it.”

As we sat there listening to the rest of the family, we heard them laughing and enjoying their meal. We began to feel sorry for ourselves, as we continued to pick at our huge, meaty, turkey legs.

Then Bruce whispered, “Hey Lynda, I’m going to give the rest of mine to your dog, he’ll eat it all, come on!”

I instantly knew this was a bad plan, and opened my mouth to say so, when my dad reappeared at the window and said,

“Don’t even think about it!”

“How does he do that?” was Bruce’s whispered lament.

We were skunked. We had to eat the whole thing or suffer my father’s ire, and so we sat there and…

ate

ALL…

Each bite we took felt like a rock in our bellies. I looked at my tummy and it was pouched out just like his. Silently, I began to cry. I wondered why I had wanted a whole leg in the first place. Wouldn’t sharing have been the better thing?

Now it seemed that with each bite I took, I was piling up another stone in my belly. I hurt.

I remember thinking that each bite lacked flavor, and in finishing those last bites I also realized that there would be no pumpkin pie with whipped cream for me that day.

***

I felt I was going to explode

***

That was over forty years ago, and to this day I have no real desire to eat turkey. I haven’t spoken to Bruce in a very long time, but I am sure that he would remember that particular Thanksgiving vividly.

Was my father wrong to have done what he did?

Perhaps, but I forgave him a long time ago. Now I look back on that day and laugh at my foolish greed.

Just don’t ask me to eat turkey.

There, with the grace of God, went I: part III of III

November 22, 2010January 24, 20113 Comments

Wherein I explore a very big lake and discover I am ready to go home…

Having spent Saturday at the Bantam show, and on the road, I was glad for a lazy morning on Sunday. But in no time at all we were back on the road with Jayme’s sister escorting us, and we had her nephew in tow.

Poor guy thought he was going to be home doing the normal boy in charge, teenager home alone shenanigans, and suddenly there was a carload of old ladies down in the parking lot demanding his presence! (As seen through the 14 yr. old’s perspective.)

He has that effect on you. You just want him around because he is so spontaneous and fun!

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Deja Vu? No, you’ve seen this before… Jayme borrowed my cake picture, and I borrowed one of hers.. Turnabout is fair play they say!

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And then we were off to the Dunes, with a side trip to a very ancient barn complete with …

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Barn cats

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A carload of other old ladies showed up with a trunk load of cat food to feed them all. I wondered at the time if this wasn’t the place where everyone came to dump unwanted kitties… lots of kitties…

I have this love of old barns. I discovered them when I was eighteen and traveling from Southern California to my first duty station in Pensacola Florida. As I entered the southern states they started popping up in the fields here and there and I wanted to draw every one of them. Sadly, they are slowly being torn down and the wood repurposed for other projects like tables and shelving…

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I liked how the light came in through the window and lit up the angles on these beams.

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Old Barns Have Character

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It makes me sad to think of them no longer existing in their proper form as… barns.

Interesting observation here, the barns in Kentucky were for the most part painted a very dark charcoal black, and the barns in Indiana are mostly painted white. Why is that? (A rhetorical question, but if you know the answer do tell!)

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Milking Room Deep Down Below

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Underneath it all there was a milking room. I would have dearly loved to get inside to take pictures, but could not figure out how to get in there. So we will all have to be content with pictures through a broken window… for which I gingerly got down on all fours in broken glass and balanced my camera on the ledge to get. Be satisfied with the results, as they were the best to be had under these conditions.

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On the way to the dunes I saw this one and made poor Jayme’s sister pull over so I could get a picture of it… I’m hating the blue tarp covered something on the side, but the sky and the whole effect are really beautiful. It was just such a day!

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The Dunes, as they are called, is a beach on Lake Michigan. Honey if you are from anywhere else in the country and you see the Great Lakes on a map, well you think “Yeah, wow, big lakes alright.” But then you get there and it’s like looking at the ocean… with the sun setting all wrong…

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Massive…

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It is a surrealistic sensation, causing introspection and a feeling of aloneness, yet comforting in a strange way…

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And then suddenly, all too soon, our day was drawing to a close. The sun was setting …

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And we were on the way back to The Coop Keeper’s home.

My visit was almost over and I felt sad to think it. Jayme had cared enough to open her home to me, a stranger. She took me to see chickens in Ohio, and a Great Lake. We went antique and thrift shopping (which my husband just will not do). We talked, laughed, shared and did all the things that best friends do, and it was like we had known each other for years.

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I’d had a wonderful stay, and in the morning it would be time to go home.

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End Part III

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The Epilogue posts tomorrow…

There, with the grace of God, went I: Part II of III

November 21, 2010November 22, 20109 Comments

My-Oh-My! Before I begin part two in earnest I must share a vignette and a couple of photos with you!

On my first morning I awoke and looked up to see a lady bug nonchalantly walking on the ceiling. Suddenly (s)he found another lady bug hunkered down in one of the spaces between the tiles and the chase was on! The one chasing the other for a full 30 seconds which must have seemed a very long time to be pursued, for a lady bug at any rate! The race came to an abrupt end when the bug being chased suddenly fell from the sky and landed somewhere within the folds of my covers. Well at least her fall was padded!

I am one of those people who are prone to belly laughing. I mean, after all, if it is worthy of laughter then go for the gusto I say! Well, I began to laugh out loud at the ladybug race and then remembered where I was and the early state of the morning… So I got up, donned my robe and slippers and quietly walked to the kitchen door to have a look at the day… when…

WHAPPA!!!

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This kitty just flat-footed it to face height and attached herself to the screen door!

Needless to say, I was a bit startled!

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Later in the day before Jayme, Peggy and I went shopping I took a little stroll down to the back forty of the property. From there I found some delicious photos to take…

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Milkweed pods in the sunlight.

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The backside of the one hundred forty year old home where Jayme and Glenco reside.

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Now Jayme may go apoplectic when she sees I have posted this photo because the gardens have gone to seed. But think of this! All those seeds are feeding birds who stay for the winter and those just passing through on their way to see me in my gardens! You know as well as I do that those smart birds have all the best winter seed stores marked out.

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Old friends sharing conversation.

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I imagine them either discussing the house’s eyebrows over the windows, or wondering what could be keeping me so long down here in the back forty. Telephoto lenses get you great closeups, but do not teleport the conversations to go with… guess we’ll have to wonder.

Now where was I? Oh yes, part two. Wherein two friends partake of a little…

“:<> !CHICKEN MADNESS! <>:”

Now if you have read Jayme’s blog entry you will have seen the videos that let you in on just how NOISY it all was! But if not, then you just have to go take a look, and a listen –> HERE <–

Crazy but fun, yes? No? Well, we had a ball!

We met the Chicken Whisperer himself.

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Jayme and CW

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Saw so many chickens it was a blur,

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Oh wait, that was my camera malfunctioning. But here are a few that did turn out…

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Ever wondered what would happen if you crossed a Chicken with a Chip Monk?

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and geese and turkeys,

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And hey, isn’t he a beaut? And I hate turkeys, but could make an exception for him!

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and big-mouthed… er, billed ducks too!

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Darling, Just DARLING!

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So, Jayme fell in love with the Modern Bantams, and I fell in love with the little old style Bantams, and all that chickeness was just a bit overwhelming. And wouldn’t you know that Jayme convinced one of the vendors to let her hold an itty-bitty-bantam girl and suddenly I had to have her…

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It was love at first sight...

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I heard this voice that sounded like me, but from a dream saying, “Jayme, I want her will you help me pick out a little Roo to go with her?” And bless her she just jumped at the chance, and the money exchanged hands, and I had two little bitty Bantams who would now need a box to ride home in!

Snapping into reality now, I realized that I needed a roomy cage that I could afford and ta-da! There were two gentlemen, who being entrepreneurs with foresight, were building bantam cages right there on the spot, and they built one just for me! Imagine that!

And so it was that I came back to Coop Keeper’s home with the “Duke” and “The Little Woman.”

It was an arranged marriage and they got to spend their honeymoon in Jayme and Glenco’s bedroom. They are so thoughtful don’t you agree?

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Around the Farm

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The following are impressions from Jayme and Glen’s Home. They are in no specific order, but I wanted to share with you the loveliness I found there even as the gardens prepared themselves for winter.

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Welcome

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The Friendly Kitty

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She gives tours daily!

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Old Eggs

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Jayme’s broody little hen was not going to give up! So, Jayme removed her to bring her in to keep company with her other little hen while in hospital quarters.

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The Chicken Gang

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