being honest with yourself – Life on the Farmlet

Honesty

Christmas this year was Bob installing a new sink faucet in our bathroom and fixing the tank on the toilet in the guest bath. There were cards, one from me to him and one from him to me. It was quiet all day.

New Year’s eve, was quiet and ultra cold. All day. The chicken’s water froze even with a heated base and I had to go out many times to pour very hot water onto the ice to melt it for them and then use a hammer to crack the ice layer on the goose’s water.

And now, about my last installment on my vacation to see my Auntie. Well, it has been a very long time of thinking and (most likely) over analyzing why I couldn’t write about it. This is hard to share, but I think it will be good for me to just say what I have been thinking.

Getting out and traveling over 2,000 miles was good, but in my mind’s eye it was a sham. Why? Because for most of the trip I wouldn’t allow myself to stop and enjoy the things I passed on the highway.

Here is my reasoning

Traveling in my truck was like traveling in a box on wheels. Just like staying inside when I am home. You may not get this, but I see it as no different when I wouldn’t allow myself the freedom to explore all the historical sites, museums, and just get out and walk in some of the little home town’s I saw from my windshilded, rolling red box.

There is one distinction I give myself, and that is that I went so far while locked inside my little red box and that I was able to go out and do errands for my Auntie, because she needed the help. Well, really, how different is it to shop the grocers or Wal-Mart in Iowa vs. Alabama? There was a familiarity, a comfort zone, in that too.

I have pictures for you of Hamilton, Missouri, where inexplicably I felt OK to spend the morning exploring. Go figure.