A  anxiety

G  gasping

O  out alone

R  racing heart

A   anger (self)

P   panic

H  helplessness

O  oppressive feeling of fear

B  behavioral anomaly

I   irrational

A  avoidance

Today halfway through physical therapy I began to tear up.  My heart began to race.  I tried to control it, but it seemed  the harder I tried, the worse it got.  I got up to go to the next station for treatment and suddenly felt faint.

PANIC.

Crying and fainting are not allowed in public.  (My rule.)

I had to go, NOW.

I am uncertain as to the trigger for today’s incident, but feel it had something to do with the unannounced change in Physical Therapists.

All the way home I kept telling myself I don’t need medication.  Haven’t had it, don’t want it, no way!  After all, I have been doing quite well for over a year now and cannot understand this sudden, out of nowhere, fall into the abyss of fear and panic.

How I felt when I got home…

Embarrassed.

It is a mystery.

One that I hope does not repeat itself.