O out alone
R racing heart
A anger (self)
O oppressive feeling of fear
B behavioral anomaly
Today halfway through physical therapy I began to tear up. My heart began to race. I tried to control it, but it seemed the harder I tried, the worse it got. I got up to go to the next station for treatment and suddenly felt faint.
Crying and fainting are not allowed in public. (My rule.)
I had to go, NOW.
I am uncertain as to the trigger for today’s incident, but feel it had something to do with the unannounced change in Physical Therapists.
All the way home I kept telling myself I don’t need medication. Haven’t had it, don’t want it, no way! After all, I have been doing quite well for over a year now and cannot understand this sudden, out of nowhere, fall into the abyss of fear and panic.
How I felt when I got home…
It is a mystery.
One that I hope does not repeat itself.