It’s been too long since I wrote for Friday Fictioneers. My brain cells feel rusty and my fingers out of shape. However here is my entry for Friday the 16th, 2015.
Dinner With the Folks
PHOTO PROMPT – Copyright – Jan Wayne Fields
They’d dated for a year and he knew she was the one. On Saturday he’d planned to have her over to meet his folks. He’d chosen a ring to give her when they were alone that night.
With red-rimmed eyes he stood at the window absently fingering the little box in his pocket. He considered just wrapping the table’s contents into the tablecloth to take out to the trash.
Her message that morning: “Darling, I’m bringing a surprise for your parents, see you soon!” (Shots in the background)
No time to duck the bullets; she silently slumped to the ground.
For some really great takes on this weeks prompt, please look
~ HERE ~
37 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers: dinner with the folks”
Good to see your fiction fingers have not entirely rusted off.
Yeah, lucky me!
Thanks, Tom. 😀
Wow, Lynda, that would ruin everything! I’m assuming he didn’t see her slump to the ground.
No, Janet, he found out later from the police account and eye witness statements on the news.
Rough to read? Dang hard to write in only 100 words!
Dang you are sharp! I’m always amazed how you pull off these dramatic stories in just 100 words! You rock!! 😀
Lori, it is a sickness… and now you know the secret of my thinning hair! LOL, just kidding! Thank you for cheering me on. It really helps!
I love the suggestion that he thought about just wrapping everything up in the tablecloth and taking it to the trash. Who of us hasn’t been tempted to do that in one situation or another?
Thank you, Linda. Your comment reminded me of a story a friend of mine told about her neighbor who always covered her messes on flat surfaces with a tablecloth. She said that she’d often been there to visit when there was more than one tablecloth on a surface, and in her words, “It would have required an archaeological dig to find the top of the coffee table.”
(I know this is not the same, but you reminded me of it and I just had to share!) 😀
Nicely done in 100 words. In the wrong place – at a bad time. Perhaps being on the farm, or even up the creek would have saved her. 😯
Hm… I’ve been both places in the past few months. If something bad is coming. it doesn’t matter where you are, it will find you. (Nothing life threatening for my part.)
Thanks, Archon! 🙂
Very sad and somewhat topical given recent events.
I thought I hadn’t seen you around FF for a while, but you’ve still “got it”!
Draliman, it has been one heck of a year. So glad it is over! Thank you for the affirmation and for noticing I’ve been gone. 🙂
A whole lot of story in there, and topical in view of recent events too. Nice to see you back here – hope you’ll be here again next time.
Thanks, Sandra, I tried not to make it too obvious. I will try to get more regular about my writing. We’ve just been swamped with things that need doing around here. I will admit, it felt good to finally get them out of the way. 😀
Do enjoy your travels and be safe.
The action does shift out of narrator frame there at the end, yes, but it’s very fixable if you want. In spite of that, a very sad little vignette… could happen to anyone.
Hello. Brian. Thank you for the comment. I have a question: As the narrator am I not allowed to quote/’fill the reader in on her message?
New to this, help is appreciated. Thanks!
I’m not an authority, and tend to think you can do whatever you like so long as you write well.
Should have put on my glasses; you aren’t Brian.
No, but I will answer to it. 🙂
Okay, the final sentence here was a bit extreme.
Please explain yourself, Adam.
To be honest I was having trouble with it too.
Ducking bullet(s), slumping body, all of a sudden? It became an action movie.
Over the top then.
Small edit and still 100 words.
It’s fine now, grammatically.
Nice to see you back.
Quite the story and, it seems, no one’s safe.
It is in the back of everyone’s mind. Is it not? We live in interesting times.
Glad to be back. Ive been missing all the fun!
Really well done, you really pull us along with the emotion there. Nice work.
Thank you, KT. This one was very compressed and I wasn’t sure if it was working. 🙂
Disappointment followed by that blackness of total disaster .. what a story really.
Glad you liked it, Björn. It was hard to convey everything in only 100 words this time, and I had hoped it would work.
I kid you not, I was thinking of you and your Friday Fiction just today.
This one sure fit the image … sadness
Thank you, Laurie. I’m trying to get back with the program. 🙂